Just a feeling

What a sleepless night for me tonight!

Guess what? I'm getting some real serious stuff done in the middle of the night.

Wondering the purpose of my life and I don't think I have found my purpose in life yet ;(

It's been awhile I haven't gotten the chance to go blogging. The funniest thing is I was trying so hard to sign in with this blog cause' I forgot the password, HAH! and now, I got it!!!

Feel like writing for some reason. I can't find elsewhere for me to express myself anymore. Facebook used to be one of them, but ever since you started to work, social media can't be trusted anymore. Boss, colleagues, not-so-close friends are monitoring your Facebook's activities.

Thought of a sentence to "blah" it out in the middle of the night, but can no longer using Facebook as a medium because you never knew if your boss would question about your sleeping hour.

Mmmmm, feel free and wild when I'm typing on my blog.

Thanks buddy, you've been great to me!

Good night, people.

烘焙乌龙茶

冬天的夜晚，
冬风冷漠无情地向整个“爱的门”作出不可一世的炫耀。
把我们几乎吹得快要跨了。。。

没想到家竟然是冬天最可靠的知心，
唱完了生日歌，吃完了蛋糕，说完了笑话，吹完了冷风，
回到家，二话不说的就跳上床把棉被一盖，什么事都不管，
只管放纵的去感受温暖又多舒适。

天仁茗茶的烘焙乌龙茶果然味惊四座，
只可惜冬天让茶凉得特快，不然此茶能够更加完美！
在冬天有杯热腾腾的茶喝，
是一件多么幸福的事啊~~~

N900 - MyPhoneJas=)

N900 is absolutely stunning! Give me a reason not to get this phone. Plus, it's kinda affordable. It's only $569. What a good deal!? I'm so glad that I haven't get any phones like N96 or N97. Almost wanted to get it before the end of 2009. Well, I guess I've made a right choice of waiting for more good phones to be out in the market.

http://maemo.nokia.com/n900/

This is definitely comparable to iPhone since it could has up to 48Gb of memory and the quality of the camera is way higher than iPhone. Nowadays, iPhone is everywhere and don't you wanna be more unique and stand out among the rest? Be YOURSELF! Get something different from what's the whole world is having.

往事，过去

一段刻骨铭心的过去竟然让我无语不堪。

事隔之久，
没想到去年的花依旧开得如此灿烂。
人生能够缅怀过去，
总是幸福的。。。

回忆就是让人难得所谓的“避世”，
暂且逃离现实的残酷！

Please make up your mind!!!

Winter finally is here. It started yesterday.
It was freezing cold yesterday and it seems like Autumn has done with her job and give out the position to Mr. Winter. Winter season perhaps just give people another reason to go shopping for winter clothing. Yeahh, I did some shopping for my winter collection way before Mr. Winter has arrived. Not a lot, cause' I still need to save bucks for next week Thanksgiving's HUGE SALE! wow~ I can't really wait for that. I'm extremely excitedly exuberant about it.

After shopping talks, let's get back to some serious issue. Should I work or go travel in the summer? As I told myself as well as my dad, the reason I insisted to go travel was most of my friends are going back to their country for summer holiday. Chances are, I don't have to spend that much if I have someone to provide me with accommodation and probably food. Therefore, all I have to take care of is my flight tickets and miscellaneous expenses. Really! Money is one of the biggest temptation for me to work as a sale intern for V Co. The amount of money that the other interns earned was tremendously astonishing. I never thought that we can be able to make such big amount of money in 3 months. How amazing!?

But the thing is, am I willing to work that hard for it? Or do I want to pursue my dream to explore my Asia Voyage? Because I may not have the chance to complete this exploration after next year summer. I'll be graduating next year Fall and most probably I'll start looking for a job and hopefully I'll get a job here. Once I have a job, I don't think I'll have summer holiday as other college kids do. Job is always one of the barriers to get a kick start to do whatever you want to do. Indeed, they will be a heavier burden place down on your shoulder once you start working. The responsibility that you are carrying is just different. You may not have the guts to challenge your boss as you do to your college's professors because you may get fired and when he tells bad about you, I'm sorry, your future career is partially done. It will be more difficult to search for another job due to your previous history.

In contrary, where else in this world I could earn roughly $10k in 3 months? Sounds ridiculous to people at around my age, really! But I could expand my vision of traveling to different countries that I haven't been to before. The most important thing is I could accomplish my exploration and enhance my knowledge on tea in China, Taiwan & Japan. Tea is part of my life and my life is imperfect without the existence of tea. All I want to do is to indulge myself into the realm of tea. My inspiration, motivation, and determination are come from the indulgence of tea - the day started to learn to drink tea. As I told my friends that I'll literally go crazy if I ever in tea farms because that's where I'm belong to.

What a tea fanatic I am....

Work or travel?? Which path should I take?

Check out your college's professors

I found another awesome stuff - http://www.pickaprof.com/
Guys, check this out! =)
Unfortunately, we have to pay in order to access it. But I just simply like the idea of this website.

You're cute but I like their experties

Can I get this - EOS Rebel T1i EF-S 18-55mm IS Kit because I really can't stand the pictures I took recently? It was so awfully terrible!! People who have high expectation on photography like me has a need to obtain a SLR. Lol!

Racism is disgusting!

I really like the way she talked about RACISM last night at the training. It was a mistake that I didn't get her name and talk to her after the talk. In fact, I should. She brought up the issue of racism in the United States in a very comfortable manner. Therefore, it made everyone willing to share their racism experience comfortably.

Before the talk began, she told everyone to shift their seat according to the color of shirt they wore. Those who wore black stayed at the right and those with white stayed at the left and etc. I was kinda annoyed when she shifted us to a different place because I was sitting on my seat comfortably and kinda reluctant to move my ass. Anyways, she explained the reason why she did that. She asked, why would people tend to put people into different boxes or categories? This topic has always been controversially complicated.

10月忙不忙？

最近生活的却有点繁忙。
可是，也不能完全责怪忙碌的生活而难以抽空去干一些自己想干的事。
只能怪自己功力不足，胜不了梦魔的诱惑。
问题在于越是繁忙，梦魔的诱惑就越强。
尽管我用尽了我这么多年来修炼的功力来对抗，被鲨鱼吃掉了都不知道，
还以为自己还在游泳，其实已经被吞了在鲨鱼肚子里游泳。
我就好像那只小老鼠一样，
不知道被梦魔吞噬了，自己在发梦睡觉也以为自己在上课上班。
这也只能怪，梦境太真实了。
有时候，
梦，
不能太真实，要不然很容易得到睡眠障碍。

10月，我的大学生涯过的很充实。
不但要兼顾功课还要去做一大堆有的没的，
就好像跟朋友聊天吃饭，练日本剑道，打羽毛球，跳街头舞 （比赛我们的冠军！），搞活动开会服装秀搞设计。。。。。 扣除了这些有的没的，还哪有时间去做一些我自己想要做的事呢？

人生的确让人很矛盾。
有时候当我完全没有事情干的时候，
我又不知道自己想做什么。
反而，没事干之时我会去找周公下棋。
（真的是不能怪梦魔啊。。。！）

我很想再一次很认真地去研究我的茶道，
很仔细地去阅读我买的书，
很轻松自在地看朋友们的部落格，
很愉快地一个人去摄影，
很投入地欣赏一部电影 （最近发现新出的电影很“烂", 不知是我心不在焉还是他们不行），
或是冥想自己的未来将会如何... ...
这一切都是我很想做的事情。

The Challenges

Reason is dead! Long live reason!
Humility is dead! Long Live humility!
Passion is dead! Long live passion!
Nature is dead! Long live nature!
Evil is dead! Long live evil!

TRUTH HAS BEEN LIVING IN THE FALSEHOOD FOR AGES!

Routine is the death of the spirit.

May the old way of life PERISH!

PSY 3133

Sob~ I scored the 2nd test badly on one of my psychology class - Principle Behavior and Conditioning. Actually I would say the second test is a little more easier than the first one. But I guess I wasn't putting enough effort to make a good one. I know I'm not good in this class and therefore I'm sort of losing my confidence studying in this class. May be this is called learned helplessness....

...... or may be I don't know. Try not to put as much effort as possible in order to avoid receiving disappointed results. See, right now I won't get too upset because I know I didn't really study a lot for the test.

Moving up to the workforce ladder - HARD!

Hey hey, why is it so hard to look for an internship or a job that related to my major - psychology. Why am I in Oklahoma? They have any reasons to have nothing at all compared to other states in US. I found that there are so many job opportunities about Upward Bound program in Seattle, Nebraska, LA and more. Well, I only found some youth services here but it doesn't capture my attention at all by just looking at the website.

In the beginning, I thought Kat was talking about Outward Bound and therefore I was looking at the internship on their website. Outward Bound seems to be a very interesting place to work. But until now, I'm not sure what I'm really want to do because I sort of have some mentoring and teaching experience in my college years but I don't think I can be a very good mentor who has the sense of caring to really take care of the children.

Listening to Mayday Parade. Their songs are good especially - If you can't live without me.

Psychology always sound interesting to people. But I don't feel like being a counselor, therapist or a social worker who just helping people in their hard life. I may like to analyze people's behaviors, attitudes as well as their way of thinking. Honestly speaking, not trying to brat at all but I think I have the ability to read people's behaviors by just interacting with them. I can easily tell the category of people that they belong to. Well, that would somehow become my weaknesses as well. Because I'll know what kind of people they are and I may judge my friends in a mean way. BUT I don't usually do that if I don't have to. Wink*

Gosh~ I was staring at the internet for more than an hour looking for internship which related to Outward upward program in Oklahoma. My friend told me that we have to see if our campus is carrying this program so that we can actually stick our nose into it and try to find out if we can volunteer or something. Fortunately, I found that UCO is carrying this program and I was so happy with it. But when I take a closer look at the bottom of the website and guess what I saw? The website was not been updated since Nov 2008. What the.... Owhhh, come on! And then, I shifted my attention to OU, OCCC and OSU. They do have Upward Bound Program in their campus but I don't think they are hiring. They might wanna take volunteers who are working for free but I'm a UCO student. Chances of getting into their network are pretty rare.

The only reason why am I indulging myself into music recently that much is probably because I don't know what am I gonna do once I'm graduate. Well, I don't seem motivated to get involve in psychology stuffs. But when people talking about business and corporate stuffs. I may seem a little bit excited about it. Psychology sounds professional but I feel that I'll have more satisfaction when I actually working a corporate company and dealing with a challenging business world. I guess I have taken a wrong major and I won't say wasting my time but I may have to spend more time to pursue for another major that actually suit me. Studying MBA would be another option for me. But money seem to be another problem. I don't think I wanna spend my dad's money anymore.

Well, let's get a job once I graduate. But of course I wanna stay in US for a couple of years in order to earn some USD before I head back to Malaysia. But what can I work here? Okay, I'll try to get into COPE - a counseling center in OKC. At the same time, I'll try my best to apply internship in Outward Bound and see if I can get it. This internship might help me to look good on my CV. Dang it... I've still not yet fix my CV, ............ not motivated to...

Owl city is something we should listen to .... Adam's songs are relaxing and it can create a jovial mood into your soul.

Japanese Teas

I just found out that there are actually many kinds of Japanese green tea. First of all, the most prominent one would be Sencha and Matcha. Sencha would be considered as the usual drinks in Japan and people can find Sencha everywhere in Japan including some other countries. On the other hand, Matcha is famous for the Japanese Tea Ceremony.

Here are lists of Japanese Green Tea,

番茶 Bancha (common tea)

玄米茶 Genmaicha (brown-rice tea)

玉露 Gyokuro (Jade Dew)

焙じ茶 Hōjicha (roasted tea)

冠茶 Kabusecha (covered tea)

窯煎茶 Kamairicha tea (pan-fried tea)

茎茶 Kukicha (stalk tea)

かりがね Karigane

抹茶 Matcha (rubbed tea)

芽茶 Mecha tea (buds and tips tea)

煎茶 Sencha (broiled tea)

玉緑茶 Tamaryokucha

September Babies

In fact, I have no idea that there are so many September born babies until this semester in UCO. A beautiful baby girl was born on September 5th and on that day only I realized that there was another guy's birthday is on September 5th as well. What a coincidence!

I always thought I'm the special one. But now, no longer I am special. But I told the mummy, Yes! the daughter is gonna be brilliant, beautiful and has the determination to strive for the best in her life. Because she is born in September 5th. Not being self-praise but just wanted to say that those who born in September has something uniquely built inside of them which they are potentially to bring it out to people and say, "Hey, we are the best! And here we are to make your life better".

Sounds like a good news...

The Star Online, "Umno abolishes quota systems for candidates going for top posts"...

In fact, "quota is illegal" in United States. I read this from my Organizational Behavior text book yesterday. But I know it is NOT in Malaysia. How sad~

It that gonna be true? Well, it would be fantastic if the "quota system" mentality can be abolished. All these while, climbing up the laddar and obtain a higher status of position particularly in government party has alwasys been an issue in Malaysia. People desperately wanted to protest and change it but end up no one dare to take the first step because we understand that one's current position may be affected if he or she requests for a higher one. Therefore, they would like to do it in another non-aggressive way, that's called ameliorate the condition.

Well, seems like it's getting better now. Frankly speaking, can we find justice in Malaysia? I mean the real one. Not the one we have in school, teachers spank who deserve the spanking.

I hope everyone is given equal opportunity of doing what they are meant to and hopefully Malaysia can be a better country which everyone would look up to with respect.

09 / 09/ 09

Hey!

What a nice date!?

09 / 09 / 09

.... time, 09 : 09 : 09

It should be a memorable date. Nothing much happened today. Just done with a test and I've got back lab report and I realized that I've got 97%. Woohoo~ I was cursing and swearing while I was doing it. Well, not bad... at least, I'm glad that my professor sees my hard work.

I had to work at 8am this morning and I usually have 3 classes on Wednesday. After my second class, I have a meeting at 2pm in the International office. Test began after meeting. wow... busy!~

But let's us cherish 090909. This is so awesome!

A typical Thursday night

Oh, it's another rainy day... ...

I just realized that it is raining out there once I've done cooking my dinner. The sky has been waiting to rain for the whole entire morning, afternoon, and now it finally rains in the evening. The rain seems like washing off the moodiness of my day. I need some element to cheer me up lately. In fact, I have not been cheered but have been cheering up a lot of people lately, for quite a while...

Dinner is okay. I'm having some chicken with broccoli and an extra sunny side up egg. Some would claim that I'm frustratedly picky over food. But I would like to protest that I am not (sometimes ^.^) As some may know, I can be quite "whatever-ly" easy-going as long as I have RICE, EGGS, VEGE and big portion, of course, for me (for those who know me well). I don't like the feeling of getting hungry. I think no one does except for those who are having Nervosa Aneroxia, eating disorder. Somehow, I really hope they would EAT for themselves but not the physical appearance. I can completely understand the social pressure they are dealing with. People, nowadays prefer slim girls than plump girls. Nice body shape may have a plenty of advantages which some may not even getting one. Look at how unfair the society is nowadays.

People's distorted mindset and perception are eventually killing people's life.
Can you believe that?

Since this is considered a case of murdering, should we all sentenced to death? Discrimination, prejudice and stigmatization are everywhere in the world. People are surrounded by all these nonsense. Name me a place where there is no discrimination at all. I'm not sure anyone could ever find such a heavenly nice place.

In a positive manner, people would refer you to see a psychologist or a therapist in order to solve your problems in life. Do you think psychologists never discriminate against people? They do. That's why they could hardly solve their own problems. Not that they are not good enough. It's just way too hard. Because they are still human beings. This is called LIFE.

What is life? Social...
What is social? Society and people...
Why is society and people creating problem among each other?

....Because they do not know how to deal with their life in terms of society and interacting with people.

People are barely talking to people nowadays. We speak much lesser than the olden days. The reason is we have emails, facebook, myspace, twitter, online messenger or the easiest one - texting! (who does'nt...? huh?)

I was chatting on MSN with a friend today. He requested for video call and I got a little excited because I can talk to him without my hand typing on the keyboard. Unfortunately, we were just webby-ing each other. End up we both still have the type. I was like... "I prefer talking to each other if we have decided to on the webcam lohhh.." Really I felt a little bit "what-the.." So, what's the point?

What is communication nowadays?

So, you guys see how communication affect people psychologically and causing them eventually diagnosing a plenty of bizarre mentally ill disorders.

People get mentally ill either when they talk too much or they talk too less. It's all about personal interaction with others. People call you "nerd" when you talk less than others. If you can't take it, they will ultimately call you "psycho" ... why?
...because you just went crazy of unable to accept WHO YOU ARE!

Again, BE YOURSELF!

My *** ~ Dream ~ *** phone!

http://www.nokian900.com/

Hey guys, check this out! What an amazing phone. Nokia ROCKS! Someone just showed me about this phone and I was like "Wow"...!! I want to get this phone!~ Actually almost wanted to get iPhone but now Nokia will never let me down with their beautiful design and fabulous ideas! =)

Meeting new people

For the past few days, I've met some very awesome people. It's been awhile that I didn't talk to people like them. UCO rocks!

Why make plans?

Time passed, things changed.

I'm not sure if my dream of going to China would come true next year summer. Different people has different perception towards many things. So far, I may have many options of doing many things or how am I gonna lead my future life. But which one is best for me. No one have the answer for this.

I'm used to a person who have planning for everything before I actually do it. You may call me a perfectionist who would like things to go the way I demand. My organizer is always with me wherever I go. I dislike when the time I have no idea what I'm gonna do for tomorrow.

In social circumstances, people have conversation with people. The most common question would be "hey, how are you?", "What you gonna do later?". Many people would say "I don't know what I'm gonna do later?". Well, you don't even know you gonna have dinner later? or you'll be staying at home and watch movie?

Saying "Don't know" would not be my preference words.

Yes, it is hard to predict what is gonna happen tomorrow. But plannings are greatly important in our daily life. Without proper planning, your life might be a little bit mess up or disorganized - overwhelmed schedule, unclear vision. These would cause people unnecessary worries of how life is gonna be tomorrow. In contrary, too much planning may cause you frustration because things do not go the way you expected.

So, why make plans?

Let's goes with the flow.

The frustration of not getting what I want in life leading me to stop making plans for my future. I had enough of those frustration and I should learn to be more relaxing since I'm still a student.

However, you might be a little bit late catching up with the pace of the industrious world if you always slack at home and do nothing - waiting your friends to call you, asking you out for a movie, going out for a party. The motivation of having a initiative personality plays a huge role in the society. We should have the initiation to think what can we do after we graduate, what's my annual salary so that what kind of life style I can have, how much extra money I can have for traveling, nice cars, houses, jewelry and unnecessary stuffs - materialistic freak!
Well, that's nowadays life!